Shedding Inner Chaos Through Art: A artists Journey to chaotic release

Feeling like crawling out of my skin, I drop my plans for the day and grab a blank watercolor paper, sit down at my desk and stare out the window to the forest around me. I slather my paper with water until it is thoroughly soaked and start blocking out the shapes before me with my paint brush. The browns bleed with the water, capturing the movement of watercolor so beautifully.

When I feel stuck or overwhelmed, I find that painting a scene with no underdrawings and allowing for complete freedom of the paint, centers me. Instead of my carefully controlled paintings that require much discipline and focus, this kind of painting is very free and creates a very different outcome. 

I have my painting blocked out and start adding in the greens and blues, seeing the bizarre shapes the free paint creates. The window bleeds into the wall and the building disappears into the trees. This is a meditative painting that shows the fleeting solidity of our reality, which somehow brings my chaotic energy some peace and stillness. 

There is something so profound in the depth of nature. When I have lived in City's, I found it very difficult to ground myself, thankfully able to escape to the parks, but the constant cement and glass buildings surrounding me made me feel so disconnected to my center. Maybe those who grew up in city's can't relate? But growing up surrounding by the forest and ocean have made nature an absolute necessity for my sanity. 

Case in point, me feeling so chaotic, but nature so quickly centers me while I gently capture it's beauty and fluidity. I glide across the page with a rich green, slowly building the layers one stroke at a time. The pale blue of the walls attach to the brown wood around the windows and blends their colors to create that loose flow watercolor can so delightfully supply. Adding the finishing touches of the art supplies and making sure I have enough highlight and shadow contrasts, I settle into my chair and appreciate the beauty before me. Closing my eyes, I breath in the last bit of my chaos and let it out with my exhale. What a fabulous way to remember how simple it is to release what doesn't help you and embrace what nature has to offer.